I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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