the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize