hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i was born a porn star she said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize