I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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