My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you win again, gameday.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
