I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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