We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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