He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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