Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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