I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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