So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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