We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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