96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize