Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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