Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize