Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize