Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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