Are we in a gay sports bar?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
