you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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