Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize