Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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