If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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