Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
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You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The air taste purple.
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