The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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