Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
