dude i'm inner monologue high
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
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Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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