i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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