Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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