wakey wakey hands off snakey
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.