am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to