Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...