Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi