He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA