hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Apparently you make a good broom.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?