Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
