Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
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Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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