dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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