i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize