i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
