OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
