You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize