this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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