It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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