Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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