I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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