it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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