I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize