it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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