i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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