Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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