i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
