saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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