Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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