Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
