oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.