I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...