omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me