I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high