Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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